The hardest thing about dealing with an infection that antibiotics won’t kill is the despair. You’re not just fighting an infection, you’re locked in a death grapple with fear.
It’s so hard to keep on going when you see no light at the end of the tunnel, when hope feels like a cruel trick being played upon you by an evil fate. You get to a point where you dread even the sensation of hope, because you’re absolutely sure it will be crushed again, leaving you in an even deeper pit of despair. Emotionally crushed by multiple defeats, pain that never ends, your whole life consumed by this one stupid issue that no one else seems to have, just you.
The freak with a bladder that won’t heal.
Your one comfort is that this is a problem you carry on the inside, where no one can see it. So you hold it together and go on like it isn’t there, with almost no one outside of your immediate family even knowing what you’re dealing with.
You are not alone. Let that sink in.
You are not alone.
And you CAN be healed.
Never stop fighting. Never give up, never give in.
Every. Single. Time. I felt that there was no way this infection could be defeated, that I was going to break under the weight of a burden too great, I was right on the cusp of being healed. And I was healed because I picked myself up and tried one more time.
“This is the lesson: never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”
—Winston Churchill, Harrow School, 29 October 1941.
Don’t sell yourself short: you can do what I and hundreds of other women have done. And one day, you’ll look back on this struggle and know that you’re healed because you looked Despair in the eye, and punched it to a bloody pulp.
You’ll have won a priceless treasure, not only your health, but the sure and certain knowledge that you are MIGHTY.
The battle does not belong to the fearless: it belongs to those who fight on till they overcome.
If you’re reading this, it’s because you’re trying one more time. And if I had a hat, I’d take it off to you. I have been deeply moved at the strength and courage I’ve seen in so many. With that courage, they won their freedom.
And so will you.
Rise up and fight.