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Category: Useful Tips

Troubleshooting: It Burns, and Nothing Works

Posted in Immediate UTI Treatment, Troubleshooting, Useful Tips, and Vaginal Health

If you’ve got urethra burning and bladder frequency that nothing will stop, not baking soda water, not raw garlic, not OLE, brace yourself, darling.

You don’t have a UTI: you have an infection of your lady tissues. I’m talking the vagina, the inner labia, the clitoris all around the urethra: the whooole enchilada. Maybe you’ve had a swab culture done recently that didn’t turn up anything, or a doctor has taken hisself a gander and declared it looks fine to him….but honey badger don’t care.


Profiles in Power: The Real Role of Vitamin C in UTI Treatment

Posted in Cellulitis, Infection Killing Protocol, Profiles, Supplements, and Useful Tips

I know, I know…I threw some heavy shade on it in the Emergency Relief post. That’s because the vast majority of UTI’s are caused by the gram negative bacteria E. coli, which as I cover in The pH Connection, is highly acid-adaptive. Ascorbic acid Vitamin C, the most common form, is highly acidifying in the urine, meaning it’ll hurt more than it will help with an E. coli infection.

In E. coli, ascorbic acid is taken up and metabolized by a specific phosphotransferase system and a series of enzymatic reactions

There’s Vitamin C in the lemon juice you’re using to keep your bladder flushed out, so it’s not like you’re not getting any, you’re just not taking the acidic form.

While even alkaline forms of Vitamin C seem to have limited effect on most UTI bacteria, if you’ve had your UTI cultured and it’s caused by staphylococcus or strep, you should drop everything and go directly to ascorbic acid. In large doses it slaughters antibiotic-resistant gram positive infections with an enthusiasm that puts Mongol hordes to shame. I fell over this fact while I was searching for a cure for a serious cat bite infection.

Never Get Another UTI

Posted in Cleansing, Useful Tips, UTI Causes, and Vaginal Health

This is for those of you who’re UTI-free or about to be, and want to stay that way. I’m not going to waste time telling you to wipe front to back, or to pee after sex, because I know you’re not a Neanderthal, and I doubt you’re sleeping with one, either.


Though if you have recurrent yeast, BV, or UTI’s, you should hold him down and feed him OLE.

Or just tell him, “It puts the OLE in its mouth, or it gets NO MORE NOOKIE, EVER.”
That’ll fetch ‘im.

Okay, ready for the tips?     *ahem*


A Quick and Dirty Cleanse

Posted in Cleansing, Infection Killing Protocol, Morale, and Useful Tips

For those of you who really need to do a cleanse but feel overwhelmed by the whole process, here’s something you should be able to manage more easily.

If you don’t suffer from chronic constipation, you can simply wake up 2 hours early and drink a teaspoon of charcoal stirred into 12 oz of water, go back to bed till your usual rising time, and then go about your day, making sure you don’t eat anything, or drink anything but water within 2 hours of having taken the charcoal. Make sure to drink 8 oz water per waking hour the rest of the day.

When Everything Sucks

Posted in Useful Tips

Alright, you’ve been a good girl, your gut is cleansed of Candida, and you’re still listless, lethargic, bloated, well on your way to Baldsville, and for some reason you don’t even really care that much.

everything sucks

You used to have this HUGE barrel full of craps to give, and now that thing is so empty, hippies use it for their drum circle.

It’s not you, darling. It’s your thyroid.

Stop the Universe: I Want to Get Off

Posted in Cellulitis, and Useful Tips

Or, “How to Kill Antibiotic-Resistant Cellulitis With Extreme Prejudice“.

This saga really all started when our family cat was brutally killed in our front yard, last fall. It was a beautiful Saturday morning, the first weekend in October, and some jerk let his two large, mean dogs run loose. Our cat was 10 years old, and smart, they must have caught her sleeping. Fast forward a couple of months…
I decided to adopt a cat for the children for Christmas, and found exactly what I had in mind: a fluffy orange male in dire need of a caring home. He was scrawny, he was sick, his fur was falling out: he was perfect. We named him Clyde, because the dog is Bonnie and I’m corny like that.

What does this have to do with cellulitis, you ask?
Wait for the plot twist: it’s coming.

Killing Candida: A Tutorial

Posted in Diet, and Useful Tips

This is for those of you who don’t currently have a UTI, but you’d like to clear your gut of Candida.


  1. Activated charcoal must be taken with plain water, 2 hours after AND before eating, meaning it must be taken in the middle of a 4 hour fasting window in which nothing but water is consumed. It’s like a magnet, and you want it sucking up Candida and its toxins, not your food and supplements.
  2. Charcoal should NOT be taken until your bowels are moving loose and frequently, or it will cause constipation. Killing Candida with things listed in this post produces loose bowels in about 85% of people, within 2 days.
  3. If these things make you feel crappy, but your bowels do NOT get loose, you have a biofilm on that Candida, and it needs to be treated with the laxative/charcoal cleanse outlined in the Boot Camp post. If you don’t start getting loose bowels by morning of Day 3, you need to go the laxative/charcoal route.
  4. At some point, you’re going to start thinking that all this diarrhea is going to make you dehydrated, or something. As long as you’re consuming enough water (64 oz per day), it doesn’t matter how much is coming out of the other end, because it’s all retained fluid your body was using to dilute the Candida that’s now dead. This is where the major weight loss happens, and you’ll feel better and better with more and more energy as you go. It’s all toxins and retained fluid, unnecessary water weight, draining out of you.
  5. Google “Paleo diet” and do your best to adhere to it while you kill Candida. You’ll crave sweets less and less over time, so it’s not as difficult to stick to as you might think.
  6. It’s a great idea to switch things up and take 2 different kinds of these suggested Candida killers every day. Like, one day take OLE and coconut oil, the next day take caprylic acid and cinnamon tea, that sort of thing. Just make sure that you keep the quantities at the suggested levels, if at all possible.
  7. Drink 64 oz water per day, without fail. You can drink more if you want, but don’t drink less.


Day 1: Make yourself some cinnamon tea: 4 tsp cinnamon mixed into 24 oz steaming hot water. Steep for 20 minutes: don’t consume the grounds.
Drink 8 oz 3 times a day, between meals. Eat lightly, your emphasis should be on vegetables and protein. Shakes made with unsweetened whey protein powder are excellent. Continue to eat this way throughout the cleanse.

Feel Better Fast: Alkalize Your System

Posted in Diet, Infection Killing Protocol, and Useful Tips

I explained the reasons behind why you want to increase your pH when you have a UTI in The pH Connection post, and this one is specifically about how to change your diet to help make that happen.
Stop all the processed food, ladies, and soft drinks and coffee/black tea and sugar and chocolate and tomatoes and salsa and steak. Red meat is highly acid-forming in your system, and so are sugars and starches and most dairy. Dairy and caffeine are bladder irritants in their own right: it’s just that you don’t notice it when you don’t have an infection. Members of the nightshade family are alkaline-forming, but they’re still upsetting to a bladder infection more often than not. Also, fermented food/drinks should be avoided in most cases.
Now for the good news…

Troubleshooting: Did it Right, Test Results Worse

Posted in Infection Killing Protocol, and Useful Tips

So, you’ve been a very good girl and spent a whole day following everything precisely, slamming your UTI with quality OLE and raw garlic all day, keeping your bladder empty and your pH slightly alkaline, and you wake up the next morning and skip to the bathroom with a test strip.

“This is going to be good.” you think. You might even be smirking a little in smug anticipation, as you open the stopwatch function in your phone and open the test package.